i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
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I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
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