the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
