marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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