i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
