So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize