i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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