I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
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I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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