You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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