well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
