that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
