My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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