my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
