when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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