Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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