It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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