I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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