the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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