You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
