how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize