Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick

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(478): i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick http://tfl.nu/86s0

Replies (14) Good night (679) Bad night (2669)
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(210): View more from Texas

Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.

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(210): Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two. http://tfl.nu/86sn

Replies (21) Good night (5058) Bad night (860)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.

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(860): I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus. http://tfl.nu/nv5c

Replies (17) Good night (4342) Bad night (759)
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(631): View more from New York

i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.

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(631): i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to. http://tfl.nu/8bc1

Replies (6) Good night (4440) Bad night (671)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.

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(219): Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo. http://tfl.nu/ey2b

Replies (3) Good night (4734) Bad night (917)
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(631): View more from New York

I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.

(631): View more from New York

Cruelly.

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(631): I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away. (631): Cruelly. http://tfl.nu/5k20

Replies (23) Good night (4215) Bad night (1359)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...

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(517): I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall... http://tfl.nu/myki

Replies (18) Good night (10086) Bad night (2348)
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(940): View more from Texas

This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing

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(940): This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing http://tfl.nu/18y7

Replies (9) Good night (2495) Bad night (1085)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Why is there bacon braided in my hair

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(303): Why is there bacon braided in my hair http://tfl.nu/324s

Replies (15) Good night (3457) Bad night (1067)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.

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(803): I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches. http://tfl.nu/mo6q

Replies (22) Good night (1782) Bad night (959)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.

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(740): Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina. http://tfl.nu/wkh7

Replies (13) Good night (1054) Bad night (2144)
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(573): View more from Missouri

These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.

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(573): These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times. http://tfl.nu/8sq6

Replies (2) Good night (1547) Bad night (499)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.

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(318): I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case. http://tfl.nu/3tdp

Replies (11) Good night (1915) Bad night (579)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.

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(218): He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small. http://tfl.nu/riyf

Replies (17) Good night (410) Bad night (2593)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"

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(757): Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos" http://tfl.nu/ucb4

Replies (6) Good night (977) Bad night (385)

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