im having a threesome with these popsicles
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
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Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house