Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
