Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...