Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life