It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
