vagina is talking i cant
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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