how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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