Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
