I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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