your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
