we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
