she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
