His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
