umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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