my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
