at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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