Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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