she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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