I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
