You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize