hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize