i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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