i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize