Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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