I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Randomize
