And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
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Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
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just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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