oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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