So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
