i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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