she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
