fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
