So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
