just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
