Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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