Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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