I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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