Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
