4 words: hood of his car
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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