Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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