your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
