Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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