This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
