it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize