i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
