I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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