Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
