Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
