I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
