You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
