my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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