i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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