do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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