I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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